One of his traits that differ him from his brothers is that Baby Haniyya always, always, ALWAYS want to be picked up and held by an adult. Or "gemblok" as Mak calls it.
Which was fine when he was a 1/2/3/4/5/6 months old and not that heavy. Especially so when I was still in confinement because I could afford to hold him all the time. But now that he weighs more than 10kg, well, it could be rather tiring to do just that. Especially so when one is not that expert with using the kain batik as a sling, unlike the Indonesian domestic helpers...
Anyway, when I went maidless for a few days (we got a new maid last night - but still subject to some vetting and trial period...), I tried to wean Haniyya off this habit of wanting to be picked up all the time. I put him near me, where I can be in his plain sight - letting him play with the toys on the floor while I cook, do the laundry or tidying up. Alhamdulillah, he seems to understand that his Ibu needs his cooperation and does not whimper for attention quite so often. However if it has been more than 20-30 minutes of playing alone and he fusses, I try to entertain him, sometimes by picking him up while simultaneously continue doing the task at hand.
Huzaifah and Humaidi are both more 'adventurous' as infants. They would roam all over the place rather than crying to be picked up all the time. But I remember Huzaifah holding to my leg tightly when he learned to start walking, and while Humaidi seemed to skip that 'lesson', Haniyya now seems to pick up the same strategy. As a balance of some sort, I often let Haniyya hold tightly to one of my legs as he followed my slowed steps around the kitchen when I cook or in the hall as I attempt to tidy up the place.
Yes, it can take ages to cook a simple meal or make up the room, but at least I try to strike a balance between our time together and time to do what need to be done. The balance between assuring him that I'm here for him, and that he also needs to learn how to entertain himself instead of always relying on an adult to pick him up whenever he cries.
Just like we adults need to learn how to work on stuff that are within our capacity instead of always relying on others to achieve something...
12 comments:
lain anak lain perangai kan - org tua cakap jgn rajin angkat2 sejak lahir nanti susah heheh tak tau la betul ke tak betul kot - my daughters ok but yg last ni gembloks gak (first time guna hehe)- sebab my maid suka la usung and pegang dia sejak lepas saya kerja - masa dlm pantang ok lagi tapi iyala nak bermanja bila lagi ya tak heheh
Ermayum: Tulah - kesian lak bila tengok dia nak bermanja-manja. Memang umur patut bermanja-manja minta dukung pun, baru nak masuk setahun... Tapi yang seorang ni memang manja betul banding dengan abang-abang dia - saya agak antara faktor pemangkin sebab bibik dia dulu memang dok dukung dia sepanjang hari...
Aiii...anak aku yang dah 20 kg tu pun kekadang mengada juga nak didukung...heheh...Tak palah tu...dia nak rasa secure tu...lama-lama bila dia mula hendak bebas tak mau didukung...kita lak yang rasa lain macam...
Anira: Sebab aku tau yg dia nak rasa secured lah aku letak kat tempat dia boleh nampak aku tengah masak/mengemas/buat kerja2 lain. dia tahu aku nak dia mula belajar berdikari sikit2 dan explore sikit2 tapi kalau ada apa-apa yang dia tak mampu nak buat sendiri, aku ada dekat dan boleh tolong bila diperlukan...
anak 20kg minta didukung tu tidaklah sepanjang masa kan? huzaifah pun, setiap kali habis mandi masih minta didukung keluar dari bath tub... kadang-kadang cemburu bila tengok anak orang lain (yang seusia Huzaifah) dah reti mandi sendiri, berus gigi sendiri, pakai baju sendiri, tapi anak kita semuanya masih kena ibu juga yang buatkan... tapi yelah,esok-esok nanti mungkin inilah kenang-kenangan antara ibu dan anak...
Skrg ni try2 jugak tak angkat baby bile dia nangis specially tau yg dia dah kenyang. Tp hati sgt la tak tahan...
salam kak azra apa kabar? ingatkan akak tak tulis blog dah since balik..ni jenguk balik byk jugak entry akak rupanya..great to know akak n family doing good..besar dah anak akak yg last tu! Ujai macam mana..mesti dah cakap byk dah lepas balik Msia..Umar ni tak lancar lagi tapi ada improvement lah sikit2..
Farah: Mesti rasa torn in between nak angkat dan tak angkat kan? Nak pulak dia kecik lagi... Masa I dalam pantang dulu, memang dukung saja sebab tahu bila dah mula kerja balik dah tak boleh bonding macam tu dah... huhuhu
liya: alhamdulillah - ujai sekarang dah banyak cakap, partly pasal dah berkawan-kawan di tadika walaupun sampai sekarang masih pelat. akak tak kisah sangat sebab masa akak kecik-kecik dulu pun akak gagap (kata arwah tok akak) tapi alhamdulillah bila besar ok je... umar cakap melayu ke nihonggo? improvement is progress, and progress is good - alhamdulillah. hugs and kisses for umar & falah (yang comel dan rasa macam nak gigit-gigit je dia punya pipi tu)
kak, believe it or not ayyasy pon ala2 "gemblok" jugak gamaknya :p tp xdelah nk berdukung 24/7, cuma mmg compared to abangnya dia lbh "attached", byk masa dia nak minta dukung, dipeluk etc. bila mood dh ok baru letakkan. tp mmg dgn anak seken ni kami mmg dah opt for babywearing utk mudahkan pergerakan. anak dah dua lah katakan. kecik2 lak tu. dgn babywearing lah kiter dpt nk ke sana sini sorg2 bwk si kecik dua org tu :D
so mmg dgn ayyasy ni lah baru dpt rasa pengalaman buat kerja2 rumah sambil menggendong. so far dh guna pouch sling n ring sling utk angkut dia, demo sasuga ni dh 9kg mmg rabak lah bahu sebelah ni. :p
now masih aktif berbabywearing si ayyasy (on demand, of course..hihi..plus masa outing) so kami invest kat baby carrier pulak. sugoku tasukatta . hehehehe..
tu la kan, lain anak lain ragamnya. true indeed..:D
-ojasamid-
Umar ckp campur 3 bahasa..BM, BI n Jap..huhu..Umar pun baru nak masuk tadika April ni so maybe dia akan byk ckp nihongo nnt..Hugs n kisses jugak utk akak punye heroes yg hensem2 semuanya:)
oja: akak lagi suka baby carrier daripada sling sebab guna kekuatan kedua-dua bahu. yappari tasukatta. akak punya maid dulu, walaupun tak pakai baby carrier, kadang2 dia gendong anak di belakang (bukan di tepi badan) guna kain batik sebagai sling - jadi tidaklah sakit bahu sangat...
teringat pula dulu2 masa outing dengan anak dua orang - bawa stroller dan pakai baby carrier untuk mudahkan pergerakan...
liya: baguslah Umar dah nak masuk tadika dan banyak cakap nihonggo nanti - takpe kalau dia develop satu-satu bahasa dulu pun. sementara tu dia absorb juga BI & BM yang dia dok dengar - nanti insya Allah mudah untuk dia belajar betul-betul...
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